Press Release: City to ensure continuity of care with new hospital

I wanted you to hear first about my new idea.

For immediate release:

Mayor Carty Finkbeiner will hold a press conference Friday outside of the former Fiberglass Tower to announce the latest infusion of passion into the city-a new hospital.

His statement is as follows:

Good morning. Today I stand outside of this former office building to announce that the City of Toledo has come to an agreement with the owners of the building to convert the former Fiberglass Tower into a new city hospital. This is a tremendous opportunity for the City of Toledo because it will ensure the "continuity of care" that we have started when we went into the ambulance business. It has been so successful, we want to continue the continuity and the hospital is the next logical step. Now citizens who are injured in Toledo and the surrounding areas can now be transported with city vehicles and treated in a city owned facility.

Our ambulance drivers have heard the patients groaning when they are taken out of the ambulance and put into a non-city owned things such as a hospital. This will ensure that these patients won't groan again about the lack of continuity of care.

Yes I have heard the concerns that if the city cannot take care of the roads and ensure good police protection, how can we be trusted with your life? Well my friends, there is no need to worry, the facility will be new and the lack of attention won't show up until 7-10 years later. Besides, medical facilities like this have plenty of cash, but unlike the other hospitals, we are not in it for the money. Plus, we can be trusted because we are the government.

The hospital operations will be paid out of general funds and income will go back into the general fund. While this plan may be controversial, it will ensure a cash flow.

This is a great opportunity and like the new concert venue in the Erie Street Market, will be successful, and with time the facts will be on my side. The time is now, we cannot let our citizens down.

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like the state of Oregon does.

LOL
Next on the agenda, "City Funeral Services". Customers will have the option of having their loved ones picked up by one of the new state of the art automated trash collector trucks and taken to the City Dump or cremated at the City Incineration Service.

Plans for City Grocery Services are in progress. Carty has been working on them for 28 months.

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