BELLEVUE -- Police say a man in Bellevue was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.
Bellevue Police Captain Matt Johnson says Art Price, Jr., 40, was seen on four occasions between the hours of 10:30 a.m. and noon having sex with his picnic table. What makes this a felony, Johnson says, is that it took place in close proximity to a school, which made it likely that children could have seen Price.
The neighbor -- who wishes to remain anonymous -- saw Price walk out onto his deck, stand a round metal table on its side and use the hole for the umbrella to have sex.
The most recent instance took place March 14, we're told. A neighbor videotaped Price.
"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table," Johnson says.
Police say Price admitted to the crimes -- four charges of public indecency. Usually these sorts of things are misdemeanors, but in this case, they are felonies.
"What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor," Johnson explains.
The Price family did not want to talk with us, but neighbors did. Some are not happy Price was released on his own recognizance.
"He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again -- and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance," says Brice Jacobs, a neighbor.
Price is married with three school-aged children. Neighbors tell us they're now worried about the kids.
"Hopefully it stays between the adults and the kids don't get a lot of the information so they aren't so cruel to the little kids," says Emily Grote, a neighbor.
This case has police in this small town shaking their heads. "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around," Johnson says.
i could not imagine EVER wanting it that badly that i would have sex with a table, or any other piece of furniture. i would hate to be his wife, it's one thing to cheat on someone with another man/ woman, but a table! would that count as having an affair? :)
although some tables have long curvy legs....... :)
LOL.........this is different.
I too would hate to be this mans wife. I endured some crazy events, working at Toledo Hospital for 15 years, but this is well.....I best not say!
For those of you familiar with fark.com, this story made the site and received a ton of comments which will keep you laughing for days:
http://forums.fark.com/cgi/fark/comments.pl?IDLink=3500041
Thanks for the link.....
You are making me wonder about you.
Hey, give the guy a break. Any guy knows the best thing this side of the Atlantic is a hot steamy evening with your metal picnic table. I mean come on, it is a table, wow.
This does remind me of the story of a lady walking in on her husband with a frozen chicken.
Man Bonks Frozen Chicken
Shocked Jean Curtis, 47, claims ex-military cop Ian was clad in a blouse and rubber stockings as he lay on the sofa with the bird.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article142359.ece
I don't know which one is worse.......at least the local guy did not wear the rubber stockings.
chris, it's news, isn't that what you want on your site? :)
Leno was hillarious on this last night...
At least he was smart enough to not use a wooden table...yikes!
If this guy were a Chippendale dancer, and the table was a museum quality Chippendale table, would this be incest?
i didn't know they made museum quality Chippendale tables. :)
Just wondering.........when the local "exotic dancer" does basically the same with her dance floor "pole" is it a misdemeanor or a felony? Also, why did the neighbor feel the need to film this guy FOUR DIFFERENT TIMES before finally reporting him to the police? It also appears that the guy has several prior arrests for random acts involving bandannas, bedroom windows etc. This guy obviously needs help but I don't hold much hope for improvement since none of the pshrinks can seem to keep even such commonplace fiends as child molestors, livestock abusers, and cross-dressing Jerry Springer addicts from re-offending within about five minutes after they get released from prison. What a world to try to raise kids in.
I don't know why everyone is agog about the guy and his table. Women have been using "little helpers" for millenia... they're called dildos. His "helper" was just a bit bigger than usual. :-)
how many women have been caught in public during the day using a "little helper"? now think about how many women have been caught having sex with strange objects in public that caught the medias eye. come up with any?
from a practical point of view...he tips the table on its side and uses it...how tall is he or how long is the table? Round tables are only 4-5 feed in diameter which means the hole is only 2 feet off of the ground...the logistics of this is quite interesting...we need to see the evidence.
you go ahead and look for evidence. :)
pete,
ok , was wrong, i did find a story about a woman having an intimate moment with a strange object, a vacuum. hey, maybe someone should hook these two up, since i'm sure his wife dumped his butt. :) it's a beautiful thing, man, woman, table and vacuum.
http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2337670.html?menu=news.quirkies.sex...
Vacuum screamer
A US mother-of-three has invented a sex toy that connects to a vacuum cleaner to give an orgasm in just ten seconds.
The gadget, called Vortex Vibrations, works by concentrating the air flow to create a rapid and gentle vibration, reports the Sun.
Inventor Joanne Drysdale claims it can give multiple, back-to-back orgasms lasting up to a minute a time - and it does not even touch the skin.
The 49-year-old former toolmaker was cleaning her carpets when she came up with the idea for Vortex, which sells for £35 through lovehoney.co.uk.
She saw how a piece of rubber that had got caught in the nozzle was gently resonating in the air flow. She also felt a soft stimulation to her fingertips as she tried to remove the rubber.
At the time Joanne, from Utah, had not had sex for 15 years following her divorce.
She said: "In my attempts to alleviate frustration, I began to think what I could do. I noticed how the rubber moved in the top of the vacuum.
"After several hours, I came up with the prototype. The first time I tried it I reached an orgasm within 10 seconds.
"That was when I knew I was on to something that could potentially bring pleasure to all women."
Okay, so now the age-old question of "What do women think about when they're vacuuming the floor?" has finally been answered. Now I'm starting to wonder what Ben Franklin was REALLY doing with that kite and key during the electrical storm...........
i was thinking about the lady and her vacuum and how it's not real discreet when you are using a shop vac late at night. :)