Raising a child is parenting


Adoption has had a profound effect upon my family in several ways. Our daughter is married to a man who was adopted by her in-laws as a baby. His younger sister was adopted as well. They are both wonderful, talented young adults.
Our son is gay. He is married to a wonderful, brilliant man. They have two adopted sons. I wondered if I would feel differently about my adopted grandchildren than I do about our daughter's children. Well...I don't!
I used to tell my students that the titles of mother and father were earned by those who raise children. I get genuinely upset with those who speak about adoptive children and their "real" mother and/or "real" father. I really like my son-in-law's attitude. He says that he has no need to meet the woman who gave birth to him, nor the man who helped to create life within him; he already knows his mother and father, because they raised him! His sister feels differently, but that's up to her.
Mothers and fathers are in their children's lives for all of the challenges they face. Mothers and fathers are there in good times and in bad. They earn their titles of mother and father. Those who created the children they chose to give away via adoption are the biological units to me. It is a gift they give to others and to the children who most often go to a loving home. Adoption is a win-win!

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