Sweeping legislation planned in the form of the ANAA act

The ANAA With the *Americans With No Abilities Act (“ANAA”), President Barack Obama and the Democratic Senate are considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many more Americans.

The Americans With No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. "Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society," said California Sen. Barbara Boxer.

"We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing."

In a Capitol Hill press conference, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63 percent). Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created with important-sounding titles, but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance. Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees.

The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions, and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the Americans With No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory interview questions such as, "Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?" "As a non-abled person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them," said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, Mich., due to her inability to remember righty tighty, lefty loosey. "This new law should be real good for people like me. I'll finally have job security." With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. Said Sen.Dick Durbin,II, "As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so."

*This message was approved but labeled "not comprehensive enough" by Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, Rachel Maddow and Barack Obama.

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I disagree with one aspect of the law--only 50% of the population?!

Heck, I went to a couple of public events in Toledo over the weekend and from the looks of the tattoos and piercings--I'm guessing at least 80% of Toledoans would qualify for assistance from the AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT.

I hope they raise my taxes to pay for this (fingers crossed).

Galt you touched on one of my pet peaves, tattoos and piercings. Don't these people realize what a old tat on a old person looks like? And the cost of this foolishness is astronomical! I must be old when I was that age I would have never wasted money on this body "art".

Statements made are the opinion of the writer who is exercising his first amendment right to freedom of speech. Freedom of speech in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and are generally permitted.

This is great news! I've already called my nephew to say there's no need to study for that damn GED.

Patience is a great virtue.

Are you that wrapped up with your "I hate all things conservative, and pretty much everything else" that you can't recognize satire?

Jesus coward, wake the fuck up a little....

Satire is one thing, stealing it from somewhere without credit is another, and a hallmark of conservatives on this board, apparently.

The above story was sent to me by my brother.

I will need to ask him where he got it from.

Happy now you ridiculous douche bag?

Jesus what a little bitch. Now go whine to Chris so we can laugh at the little loser once again.

Oh no! You mean my nephew has to study after all?

Patience is a great virtue.

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