To the convervatives

An open letter to the conservative men of America
Steve Stockman
Steve Stockman
Dear Conservative Man,

As I write this, you are probably gearing up for your 4th of July celebration. Perhaps you have reverently hung the Chinese-made American flag you whip out for holidays. You might be lovingly staring at that Stars and Stripes shirt you bought at Walmart (made in Taiwan), or maybe you’ve dug out the silver-plated bald eagle belt buckle to polish, which was machine tooled in Malaysia. You are showing your patriotism… for China, Malaysia and Taiwan.

Do you have fireworks? I bet you headed over the state line to pick up the “fun” stuff, didn’t you? Who cares that your neighbor is an Iraq war vet with PTSD who reacts very badly to loud noises. He’s an unemployed slacker, living off the “teat,” as you and your conservative buddies so eloquently put it.

By God, if you hadn’t had those bunions during the Vietnam war, you’d have been in country, killing gooks with the best of them. Hell, you even had a “Bomb Hanoi” lapel button.

And war. You love war. You’ve never actually served, but you love the idea of blowing up countries with different religious beliefs, or too much government. It didn’t matter that Saddam Hussein had absolutely nothing to do with the attacks of 9/11; those damn towel-heads deserve everything we gave ‘em.

It didn’t matter that no one ever found weapons of mass destruction (other than the biological weapons the U.S. and Great Britain sold Saddam that he used on his own people), George W. Bush was the greatest president America ever had because he kept us safe.


You’re excited about what’s happening in North Carolina, Ohio and Texas! Men who look exactly like you forbidding uppity women from killing their babies. Yes, it’s fun to oppress people, especially women who have the gall to stand up for themselves, when they should just shut up, know their role and go make you a sandwich. Steve Stockman is your hero because he gets it. You give unborn babies guns and no more abortions! Praise Conservative Jesus, pass a coat hanger.

My guess is, you’re pretty upset about the whole DOMA thing. And why shouldn’t you be? In the minutes after the Supreme Court ruled DOMA was unconstitutional, millions of straight marriages collapsed faster than a 50-year old bridge.

Wait, that didn’t happen. Well, it will, because Pat Robertson, Rick Santorum, Bryan Fischer and Michele Bachmann say it will, and you follow them like a lemming, right over the cliff. You remember with great fondness a time when gay bashing wasn’t just legal, it was encouraged. Uganda‘s got it right, dammit.

What’s the deal with all this religious freedom attacking your religious freedom? America is a Christian nation; we have God on our money and in the Pledge of Allegiance and our motto is “In God We Trust.” See? No Muslim terrorist, liberal atheist or left-wing witches are gonna change the fact that God loves America. At least he used to until we let all the fags get married and women wear pants.

In closing, Conservative Man, let me just say this. If you read this letter and think “Hell yes, this is exactly what I believe and who I am,” you’re what’s wrong with America.

Happy 4th of July!

No votes yet

It is true that unions demanding outrageous wages for the unskilled workers who would make those flags and shirts have forced production to move to other countries. Would a union worker pay $45 for a t-shirt? Would a union worker pay $2,000 for a washing machine? Would a union worker pay $7,000 for a 32" LCD television? Yet, they all have homes filled with Chinese-made products.

The ignorance of liberals is unparalleled.

Conservatism in this country parallels National Socialism.


Interesting comparative. Conservatives believe in small government and a market-driven economy. According to Merriam-Webster, "Socialism" is "any of various economic and political theories advocating collective or governmental ownership and administration of the means of production and distribution of goods."

Perhaps you could supply some specific examples as to why you think Conservatism parallels (i.e. is similar to) Socialism.

Conservatives want a small government and supporters who will make up about 1% of the population and force the remaining 99% to pay for their luxurious lifestyle. Nazi Germany National Scoialism. That's the way conservatives in this country would like to see happen.

First, I'm a Conservative and all of the members of my family are Conservatives. None of us are part of the 1 percent. In fact, I can't think of one Conservative that I know or have met who is part of the 1 percent. So that part of your theory is wrong.

Second, you are very confused with your labels. I would suggest that you educate yourself about the disconnection between "Nazi Germany" and "Socialism."

Lastly, how is it that 99 percent of the population will be forced to support the luxurious lifestyles of the 1 percent? We'll be forced to buy yachts, vacation homes, expensive jewelry, etc., for the rich? It's just silly.

My suggestion is that you try very hard--work night and day utilizing your intellect, talent, and skill so you can be successful and earn a lot of money. Then your jealousy toward the people who have already done this might dissipate.

Voting conservative and not in the !% then your voting against your best interests. Only a true low information voter would make that mistake. Turn off the Fox.

Statements made are the opinion of the writer who is exercising his first amendment right to freedom of speech. Freedom of speech in the United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and are generally permitted.

Wow--you must say "bahhhhhhhh" a lot!

I forgot to mention the Wanna Bee's. Those are the people who bathe themselves in conservatism because their perceived notion of entitlement has invaded every cell in their body because they were born a Euro.

As a Conservative, would my "perceived notion of entitlement" include paying $38,000 in federal income taxes last year?

That's the priviledge you get for making money. I pay lots of taxes also, but that's the priveldge I get for making money.

That's astoundingly ignorant. The National Socialist movement was 100% Liberal when compared point by point.

Where do you think you're going with all this propaganda, Zeyad? Your ever-expanding 47% can't run the Western industrial society. Do you really believe the diversity pets can run the power plants and hospitals and companies they'll inherit merely by out-breeding the sensible citizens? You know damned well that they can't. Liberals have White neighbors. They already know the cause is lost. Liberals flee the consequences they created.

This has become a kind of conventional wisdom: that the Republican Party has gone so far right Reagan himself wouldn't fit in.

But, I'm here tonight to call bullsh*t on that. Ronald Reagan was an anti-government, union-busting, race-baiting, anti-abortion, anti-gay, anti-intellectual who cut rich people/s taxes in half, had an incurable case for the military-industrial complex, and said Medicare was socialism that would destroy our freedom. Sounds to me like he would fit in just fine. 

Now...I know over at Fox News right now, they're already putting out a fatwa on me. For committing the cardinal sin of taking in vain the sacred name of Ronald Reagan. It's a name like Jesus Christ. You can say it, but only in a good way. Like, "Jesus Christ, bless this chili dog." 

Not like, "Jesus Christ, look at the ass on Rihanna!" 

But, what they cannot contest is that even though Reagan did a few things today's GOP would not like, he wrote the playbook for them on every issue of consequence. Sure, he raised taxes a few times. But, when you look at where he started with taxes and where he ended, this is where our income inequality problems began. He invented "voodoo economics." 

On race, his ideas couldn't have been more Tea Party if he shouted them from a Rascal scooter. He ran on states' rights. He invented the notion that black people get all the breaks...constantly telling the story of the "Chicago Woman"--wink, wink--who has "80 names, 30 addresses, 12 Social Security cards, and her tax-free cash income is over $150,000." 

And that woman today is RuPaul. 

Actually, that woman never existed. Reagan just made sh*t up. Something else he pioneered for his party of today. 

He described the New Deal as fascism, Medicaid recipients as "waiting for handouts," unemployment insurance as "prepaid vacation for free-loaders.  And once said, "A tree's a tree. How many more do you need to look at?" 

He was the original, official pitchman for bat-sh*t. When they hold up signs that say "No Socialized Medicine," where do you think they got it from? We got it from you, Dad, we got it from you. [slide of Reagan record album] 

RECORDING OF RONALD REAGAN: "If you don't do this and I don't do it, one of these days, you and I are going to spend our sunset years telling our children and our children's children what it once was like in America when men were free." 

Drama queen much? Worst of all, Reagan inspired a whole generation of people who hate government, to get into government. Both sides really should stop pretending he was something other than the man most responsible for our decline. And I do mean both sides. 

You know, I get why Republicans worship Reagan. They're the religious party. Worship is in their DNA. They can't help it. They love him beyond logic. Last year, they tried to elect his haircut. [slides of Reagan and Mitt Romney]  

They want him on a stamp so they can lick his backside. 

But, why are Democrats conceding the argument on Reagan? Obama talks about him like he's a "brother from another mother." "He changed the trajectory of America." Yes, but not for the better.

When you mainstream Reagan, the far right becomes the new middle. He wasn't a friend to all Americans. He was "Patient Zero" for everything you're fighting against now. He was the original "teabagger." 

Stop agreeing he was a saint, especially when his two miracles were turning water into polluted water, and walking on the poor.


all 100% destroyed by your party of criminal scum.

And, as a moron, you do not notice it, do you ?!

Ho hum. The rightwing destroyed us at the national level, while the leftwing destroyed us at the local level. Both of your extremists need to face firing squads. One day, we'll get that chance. The stakes merely need to be raised up enough for the people with the money and guns and nothing better to do, to finally get that done.

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