Tom Skeldon announces Paris Hilton to provide consulting service to office, promises to recalibrate staffers

In response to the outrage over the senseless death of the vicious dog, Princess, Dog Warden Tom Skeldon has hired Paris Hilton as a consultant for the Lucas County Dog Warden office.

Tom Skeldon stated, “Paris is an expert on dogs like Princess, and her expertise will be invaluable to the other deputies of the office. She can provide us handling and cornering advice that we clearly lack.”

A citizen from Point Place, who wished to remain anonymous, suggested the reason Skeldon hired Paris as a consultant is because they need to know how to act around tiny dogs and suggested that they are too geared to targeting Pit Bulls and that everyone in the office needed to be re-calibrated to other types of dogs.

Tom Skeldon said that their deputies have all equipment in the van set for large dogs, such as Pit Bulls since they are so used to only searching for vicious dogs. Skeldon speculated that the deputy may have forgot to lower the default dosage amount in the dart and may have treated Princess mistakenly like a large vicious dog. Skeldon promised to recalibrate staff to use the appropriate techniques for the appropriate dog.

When asked by phone on Tuesday night, Paris Hilton said “That’s hot” in response to her new consulting duties. Ms. Hilton forwarded all other requests to her publicity agent.

Photo caption: Paris demonstrating the expert dog handling skill that attracted the attention of Tom Skeldon to hire her as a consultant:
Photo from City Rag

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No votes yet

for the dog warden...Cesar Millan!

This guy has a pack of 20 to 30 large and small dogs that get along fine. Dogs are not the problem, people are the problem. not knowing how to train/control dogs or training them to be nasty & vicious.

Get a freaking dog EXPERT into town to explain to the Warden & deputies how to deal with dogs without first resorting to killing them!

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