In a Dark Time, We Must Laugh

It seems like the news is battering us on a daily basis, and tempers are flaring. What better time to rattle off a few jokes to each other? Let me start:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The fourth one was about to speak ... and then the bartender says "you're all idiots" and pours two beers.

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An off-duty bartender walks into a barroom full of infinite mathematicians and orders a round for the bar. The guy behind the bar starts pouring drinks and never comes back. The off-duty bartender enjoys his drink and leaves without paying.

A group of auto-company execs, COSI administrators, school-board members, and banking CEOs walk into a bar where they order several rounds of the finest drinks and put it on your tab.

And as you are paying the bill, they don't say "thank you" because it's not your money.

the bartender looks up and asks, "why the long face?"

Stop ! Stop ! I can't take anymore horse jokes.
I am ROFLMFAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Horse jokes ! My, what a witty, young tyke !

I must accelerate my retirement and subsequent move to Florida !

It must me in the water - even the dullest folks appear so jovial when they move there.

bartender looks up and says, "ain't you still on probation?"

OMFGLMFAO

;)

actually, the bartender looks up at Gary and asks, "Hey Gary, why the schlong face?"

*sigh*

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

you forgot your mop

and orders a triple rum and coke. The bartender says " are you still being kept by a cougar " ?

Brian says "yeah, I can't make a living on my own because I quit school in the 10th grade".

Bartender says "what a DOLT you are " !!!!!

Brian snivels into his drink and says " I know, I know, but I lash out at other people to make myself feel good". "They all understand what a loser I am".

because if that truly is the depth of your creativity, you have a lot more work to do.

but it looks like you win $100!

an envious, yet weakly, comedic wannabe poster named Gary enters the bar, bartender looks up and says, "why the dong on your face?"

"Gimme a triple rum and coke, and make it quick" he says.

Bartender recognizes him as the sloppy drunk from the night before, and the night before, and the night before.

Since Brian usually has two doubles at once, the bartender asks him " what's up ? are you cutting back"?

Brian replies " yeah - these darn Sheriff's deputies are watching me. I think they are going to catch me drinking and driving eventually."

I'm still not feeling the same passion you had when you researched me and splayed my personal life across the site when you were annonymous, Gary.

this feels as if you've resolved yourself to being the failure you are.

hope you get over it. and hope the $100 helps

besides, the cougar gave it to you to get some new tennis shoes.

FYI - as long as you are feeling smug and self-righteous about your personal life that you put out there being replayed for you on the internet - Take notice that a civil action is being drawn up against you for libel in re your continuous posting on that stupid blogsite that is a carbon copy of you = failure.

la la Gary you are a riot

you taking civil action against me?

I'm dying to see this happen, poor baby

ROFLMFAO

file this pathetic attempt at intimidation with that warrant thingy you had going when I was up there

good luck chumpstain lol

now known as gOoFy bRiAn # 1.

Did someone rattle your cage ?
You have 28 days to respond after service is perfected upon your gigalo ass.

Don't fret - your cougar will pick up the lawyers fee for you !

you must be joking

I am laughing my ass off at your antics, Gary

a 60 year old drunk trying to threaten me lol

by suing me ROFL

so how long will this little episode be drug out, Gary?

Christmas?

you wish you could rattle my cage, ya lush lol

wife and I were just laughing over your latest threat

she said bring it on

what at one time would have been cruel to take everything you own with a civil suit which should have been filed over the summer will be joyous to take with the counter-suit and burn your belongings in a dumpster in front of your rental.

and no worries, we'll be sure to pull a open-pit burn permit lol

we'll be waiting for the process server...over a rum and coke while we watch you stalk Brian Schwartz over his trooper class as Lisa deletes each of your juvenile attacks towards him lolol

Brian,

Is he talking about Glass City Jungle?

why don't you be a man for a change and ask Mr. el yourself ?

BTW - no, he is not talking about the Jungle...

There is this failed blogsite that some dolt owns, and nobody reads, that is being used in a libelous manner.

had I used words other than my own

but they were factual statements and Gary's just trying to play his silly childish games again.

using ol' Skip and Gherkin as props in his demented nightmare lol

waiting on that process server

*sip*

I'll email ya the link, Brian

what will it take for you to realize that not only do you look stupid threatening me on a blogsite because you're too stupid to find something more productive to do besides having me humiliate your name each time you try to troll me, but these antics of yours do nothing but inspire me to be creative in my own way to show the blogging public what an immature old man will resort to to grab the upper hand at anything?

I mean, what have you done other than to make yourself look more stupid, really?

My justice is and will always be knowing how pathetic a trite lush and his empty life wallows each time that computer boots up and you lather your hands and your loins, waiting to think of ways to attack and stalk me, because outside in the real world, you would fail at any endeavour, as you have shown us with your arrest record, over and over again....

Without fail, el mahico proves himself to be an ass yet again.

I mean, seeing the thread started with bartender jokes, why not stay on topic, right?

Tommy Chong walks into a bar, bartender looks up and says, "why the bong face?"

horse jokes...what a douche

do I detect some hostility here ?

Nothing that can't be smoothed over by a nice candlelight dinner.

What say you ?

Love always,
el

isn't that EnGliSh ?

Must bE yOr "fAMiLee"s cOuNTriE !
HHHHHHHHHeeeeeeeeeeeee-----------HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHeeeeeeeeeeeeee

it would be appropriate, chuckle boy

Chuck Barris walks into a bar, bartender looks up and says, "why the gong face?"

Hey Brian,

Gary's wrong. I like you!

birds of a feather....

same name brian...

flock together.

BTW - Mr. SHWARTZE. What was your class number IF you were really an Ohio Highway Patrolman ?

Any true officer would be proud of the class he was in.

I could care less which class you were in Brian. I'm way smarter and wealthier than this idiot, so my comment overpowers his.

oh Gary, let me see if you can see the words that are comming out of my mouth

I WILL PAY YOU ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IF FOR ONE TIME, AND ONE TIME ONLY, YOU CAN POST SOMETHING...ANYTHING.. ON TOPIC.

and I know your address, so I know where to send the funds.

that's right, you nosey troller, $100 if you can find any inkling of sobriety and post something on topic.

Every one of your posts attacks someone and has nothing pertaining to the thread. Nothing at all. Just you meandering within "ha ha land" in your addled head, envying and stalking. It's like that's all you know to do.

There is nothing you have shared that gives anyone an idea how intellectually ept you are, but it's crystal clear, by no one's fault but your own, as to how stupid you are.

one hundred dollars in sequential one dollar bills.

think about it...

you could pay these bar tabs with it! lol

well, maybe some of the tab, at least.

a nosey troller walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "why me?"

I'll be playing here all week with a matinee on Saturday!

btw, love yer name!

;)

Back atcha!

And rest assured, I was a state trooper.

Ladies and gentlemen of Swampbubbles:

I made a pledge on Glass City Jungle to never again respond to a post by El Mahico. He makes me angry and I eventually lower myself to his level of baseless arguing. I am extending that same policy to this board and all others.

It's not because I disagree with him. As you may have noticed, I have engaged GuestZero in a few arguments. While I disagree with him/her and he/she doesn't have much nice to say about me, at least the discussion is not in the sewer of name calling and foolish name calling.

Being tag-teamed by a couple of gOoFy bRiAns !

Goofy Brain #2 - IF you were a state trooper - what was your class number at academy ????

EVERY trooper know his class number and is proud of it.

Your silence says it all !

Get on back.

obviously, your word means squat.

Got any wooden nickels ?

bartender looks up and says, "why the Kong face?"

GuestZero: Surely you can come up with better jokes than that.

El Mahico: I can. And don't call me Shirley.

ba-dum-bump

John Holmes and Linda Lovelace walk into a bar. Holmes asks her “why the wong face”? She says “ I’m a little horse”

at the condo purchased with the cougar's funds ?

Or did you go get a real job so you can be someone she is proud of, instead of supporting ?

Wouldn't you like to take her to dinner just once and when the check arrives, YOU pay for it with your OWN money ???
Not the plastic she provided.
Har Har Har - that'll never happen.

Gardner boy walks into a gay bar ...looks around...
sees two twinks in the corner, one blond, one redhead...
orders a rum and coke for them, and a double for himself.

When the twinks look at gardner boy and nod their appreciation,
gardner boy tells the bartender "I'll take a flat of flowers and those two hoes".

seriously, if this is the best you got, time to get off the stage

there's no substance or passion whatsoever

you really are boring everyone, including me

try sleeping it off

lol

*sip*

*puff*

Do I have to school you AGAIN ????? This is getting old.
Usually I get paid for educating the uneducated.

(sigh)...

Google the word 'twink' and you will find out whatever you need to know.

Then you will get the joke.

(sigh)....

enlighten me

"No wonder you spend so much time on the computer displaying your lack of intelligence." - SOUNDS LIKE YOU, EL MAHICO.

calm down, please...

What tripped your trigger ?
I have always been nothing but sweet to you, sugardoodle....

Did you run out of squares ? That would explain your current hostility.

Let me help. or better yet - let me be THE ONE !

Love,
your el

"WHAT THE HELL YOU DOIN' " after hearing the latest crash from my room. "Nothing" I would reply. He would shake his head, and close the door to my room while I got on with what nefarious teens do to drive their fathers to distraction.

Old South End Broadway

WOW

You guys/girls are having all the fun over here...how have I missed this???

Mindyj, you ain't seen the half of it... and it isn't all fun. It's for blood between these two guys.

But I've had more fun mocking what is left of that tattered mess he calls dignity at the expense of my good name and watching the comedic display he provides as he continues to fail at "one-upsmanship".

All you have to do is re-read the thread to appreciate the true ignorance Gary enjoys writhing within. He can't even be funny. What does that say about a guy, huh? lol

Nah, I wouldn't want anyone going to jail over this drawn up worthless crybaby alcoholic. It's clear he thrives off the attention, no matter how stupid he looks.

but what shows me how emotionally distraught over being smacked like a little bitch, he's going so far as to sue me for punking on him lol

so no, he's not that important to see smashed like a balled up blood mass at my feet.

I have better things to do, like make him type stupid stuff and empty threats to amuse y'all!

Financially, he wishes this gardener would kick his ass lolol

just watch your step, that's another pool of his envy you almost stepped in.

his mopping skills have a lot to be desired

Ok have to go now, he's claiming again that he's going to move here and live right next door to me or something like that and be my friend so I have to make sure my house is cleaned and lawn mowed lol

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