Just in from the Homeland Security: Alert level raised

This just in from the federal government's new SMS alert system. The Department of Homeland Security has raised the hot cocoa alert for the area to "Elevated." This means there is significant risk that in the next 24 hrs you will need to snuggle up with someone and drink some hot cocoa. The feds justified the move given the significant increase in chatter on the local weather stations and satellite imagery. I will be sure to let you know if they raise the alert level to "Severe." Check back frequently.

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My cocoa powder is kept in a cabinet that I duct-taped shut the last time there was an alert! Well, at least them "terrists" can't get my cocoa when they somehow cross the Atlantic and invade the USA with a few hundred men.

That's where you think your powder is, but it's not there now! I traded it as part of a 'get out of jail free' deal on the last sweep.

Nothing personal, you understand. I didn't tell them about your gun collection hidden in the secret compartment under the floor of your garage next to the oil stain.

Mad Jack
Mad Jack's Shack

FEMA or somebody got to that cache about a week ago. Another no-notice warrant, I'd imagine, and they didn't even bother cleaning up behind themselves.

No guns, no cocoa. I may as well just end it all.

So I'm taking out a subprime mortgage.

Wow - a new alert? We haven't had one in a while. I wonder what bad news the Bush regime is trying to cover up today.

in gas prices again.

Why didn't I think of that?

Mad Jack
Mad Jack's Shack

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